We Don't Die: A Warrior's Story
by AndreaTWDC
Summary: A twisted version of Rick and Andrea's relationship together and what happens when they meet the Governor.
1. Selfishness

I woke up feeling like something was wrong...Dale wasn't by my side and that's what told me that well...something was wrong. After I stood up and dressed for the day, I couldn't help but smile at the the new visitors in my cell. Ben and Billy, lay curled up in a cot we dragged in, resting silently. I walked over to them and bent over, leaning to kiss their foreheads. "Good morning boys." This action caused me to sigh as I went back to dig through my bag for a blanket to cover them. Quietly, I trod back to them and moved the blanket over them. "Sleep well."

After my time with the boys, I couldn't help but want to find Dale. He wasn't laying next to me, which I immediately found suspicious as he always liked to see me wake up in the mornings, or so he said. After I grabbed my knife and rifle, I moved to the common area of the prison where the food was kept. Lori was sitting with Carol and Carl, her hands protectively holding her enlarged belly. I sort of felt bad for her. Sure, I knew Rick would protect her and the baby for anything...Hell, I would...Axel would...Tyreese….Billy….Maggie and Glenn..That baby would be safe. That wasn't the reason I felt bad though. The reason I felt bad was because Rick was not there for her, not anymore like he used to be. It made me angry in a way I can't explain. Rick's separation set us all of, as their breakup surely was the latest talk in the prison. I saw it coming though.

Everyone that belonged to our Atlanta group knew about Lori's relationship with Shane, and Rick did too, accepting the fact that the child was not his. The time gap didn't even fit where it could remotely make sense. I'm just mad because well, now was not the time to abandon your pregnant wife. I decided I would talk to him about it, seeing as Rick seemed to trust me more than anyone else here. I owed Lori and that unborn child that. That baby was our future. He or she gave us a reason to want more. To protect what we had and expand it. Even though I knew Rick had "broken up with Lori," I was going to beat some sense into him to stay with her. Not only for the baby, but for Carl, and the future support those children needed.

I saw Rick through the corner of my eye and I immediately wanted to run over and corner him. Rick glanced to me, and then quickly away, sitting at a table far from Lori, in the corner. This was my chance. I grabbed two packets of snack food knowing that Rick wouldn't want the oatmeal that the women had prepared (as he hated oatmeal..oatmeal and corn) and darted over before he could escape. It had been about three days since I heard Rick tell Lori he was leaving her, and I really thought by now that they would be back together. Lori loved Shane though, not Rick, and everyone knew that. As soon as Rick killed Shane, Lori grew cold and distant to him, and Rick surely wasn't the only one who noticed. It didn't stop me though from wanting to plead for Lori as I sat down across from him and tossed him the snack mix.

"Rick Grimes. Don't you dare try leaving or I will call the cops on you." Rick chuckled some as I ripped open my own packet. There was a very distinct smirk on my face, one I couldn't hide. "Well, /Andrea Harrison/, they would let me go, seeing as I am a cop." I smiled warmly at him, the laughter that escaped me betraying my cover. /Damn it/. "Listen…." I swallowed and looked down, frowning. How could I just joke with the man after what he was doing to Lori? The thought caused me to frown as I saw Rick tense up out of the corner of my eye, and I frowned deeper still, looking back to him. "Leaving Lori when she's this vulnerable… It isn't right. She needs you right now. Hell, that baby needs you. And..I don't want to hear some bullshit about how the baby isn't yours.. That baby is the hope we need...gives us the will to survive, and I will damn near protect it at all costs and you better do so too. I just think you need to focus on Lori, Rick… She needs you." I sighed as I waited for his response, patiently. He let a moment of silence carry out before he looked up to me, "Andrea… I'm not abandoning the child. I'm surely not abandoning Lori or Carl. They're my family...I love them…. I just can't sleep in the same bed as a woman who won't even let me hold her hand. The woman I loved is gone. She did love me at one point…. She /loves/ Shane now though...even though he's gone, she loves him. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at me...Eyes full of disgust and hate because I killed /him/. The man who slept with my wife and tried to claim my son… but somehow I'm the bad guy when my best friend tried to kill me… I just can't fake it anymore with her...and neither can she...I mean honestly, does she seem sad, Andrea? You have to see her like I do...She seems /relieved/. She is relieved that she doesn't have to worry anymore about me… but believe me, Andrea I'm not the man to abandon them. That's still my child. Carl is still my son. Lori is still the mother of my children, and I will continue to love and protect them no matter what happens between Lori and I."

I didn't know what to say...Hell, Rick pretty much answered all of my questions and for that I was thankful. He would protect them...He would take care of his child. I couldn't help but feel like an idiot for even thinking my best friend would abandon a child. Rick was the nicest guy I ever met...So loving. Sometimes it took me by surprise, his generosity, as I often found myself envious of the way he /loved/. I realized Rick was watching me and I quickly looked up, fumbling for a way to explain myself. "I was just worried about Lori." I popped a pretzel piece in my mouth as Rick did so simultaneously as if we were a synchronized machine. "I just wanted to make sure…." Rick laughed dryly as he munched on his pretzel, worrying me that he was mad at me. "Andrea, I really do appreciate you watching out for Lori… because I don't think anyone else is besides Carol...And that's only because she wants to make love with my ex-wife."

I couldn't stop laughing at Rick's words of Carol and I quickly pressed for more, almost entirely forgetting about Dale. "What the hell are you talking about, Grimes?" Rick chuckled as he ate more of his breakfast. "Carol...Oh God I can't even talk about it because she's watching us." Rick paused to laugh, his hands going on the table. I leaned forward and playfully sprinkled the salt from the bag on his hands like a four-year old would. He retracted them, flicking salt at me with both of his hands, but that's when my eyes caught it. His right hand still remained wrapped from the day he saved me from Thomas. It seemed that hand would never be the same. I watched Dale clean it, and demand Rick to make a fist, but he failed miserably, the sight making my eyes burn with sadness. Rick noticed my frown as he finished flicking salt and spoke up, the subject of Carol being entirely omitted, "Andrea...What's wrong? Are you okay? I didn't mean to flick salt at you.. I was just playing around…" I quickly shook my head no and leaned forward to put my elbows on the metal table. "It's not that Rick...It's your hand." I paused for the fact because I simply wasn't sure if I could go on. My words certainly had an affect on Rick, and I could easily see that as he set both hands down in front of her. "Andrea, it's fine..Besides, It will heal. I can still shoot a gun with my right hand, and that's all that really matters these days, isn't it?" Rick waited for my response, but I remained silent, looking down guiltily. "Are you trying to tell me you think this is your fault?" Of course I thought it was my fault. Sure, he was saving me from the psychopath who had beheaded Hersel's daughters, but I'm stronger than them. I know I am, and that should be my hand, not Rick's. Surely I left with damage from the fight, a partially missing earlobe and a huge scar descending across my face, but I was alive, and still had functioning use of each of my vital limbs. "Rick… I just feel bad seeing as you were protecting me. Damn it… I should have been able to protect myself." I set my hands down directly in front of Rick's, the difference striking in his worn hands and my petite, markless ones. "That should be my hand, not yours. It was all my fault. I wasn't strong enough." Rick immediately frowned at that, and moved his hands closer until our fingertips touched, oddly enough. "Andrea Harrison, you are being ridiculous. You survived, got away, I just finished what you started. You are strong enough...He just had a weapon and the upper hand, but that won't happen again. As far as I'm concerned about my hand, it's not a problem. So as your best friend, I'm going to need you not to worry." Damn..Here Rick was, caring about himself again, even with the hurting hand. The thought made my head spin in the confused I don't understand the male race way.

Shit. I forgot about Dale! I immediately pulled my hands away, my eyes darting up to Rick's. "Where's Dale? Have you seen him?" Rick looked up thinking before he moved his hands to hold his head. "Well… He mentioned going to siphon gas from the cars outside… I think Glenn went." My heart was practically pounding from my chest as I moved to a stand. "You let them go alone? What the /hell/ Rick?!" Rick shook his head helplessly, moving to a stand as well. "Andrea, Glenn and Dale are /fine/. They are just outside the gate. Believe me." I quickly left the bench and began walking off, searching for Dale through the prison, Rick on the ends of my feet. "Rick, I'm going to need you to back the fuck up, I need to focus!" Rick growled somewhat angrily in my ear as he came to my side. "Andrea Harrison you are going to let me help you! I need the distraction anyways." I was now even more angry as I bit my quivering lip and searched, searched, and searched, but I couldn't say another word to the man beside me.

After scanning the entire prison, Rick and I went outside, but Glenn nearly tumbled into me, heavily panting. "Andrea..Rick thank God!" Rick immediately grabbed Glenn's shoulder, steadying him as I looked behind him for Dale. Seeing no sight of him, I spoke up a bit panicked. "Glenn, where's Dale?" Glenn's face dropped as he shook his head a tiny bit and muttered, "Gone." Rick quickly snapped back saying, "Glenn, you need to tell me right now! What the hell happened?" Glenn panted heavily, quickly speaking, "We were out hunting, you know for gas, and we had some canteens full, but then we heard a helicopter and we walked over to investigate. I know it was stupid, but we went, and these men…. knocked us both out. They /left me/. I don't know why, but they did and now I'm here… I'm so sorry Andrea.. I /tried/." You tried? I felt my fists curl up, ready to fire at Glenn, but he wasn't the one I should be angry at. The people I were angry at weren't here, and brutally attacking Glenn would do nothing. Besides, he was practically my baby brother and I couldn't dare harm the kid.

Instead, I fired my first up and hurled it at Rick, crashing it across his cheek, hard. He let out an unearthly yelp, and it caused me to jump back because he was in pain and of course I didn't want that even though I was the one who inflicted it. As Rick gripped his cheek and Glenn stared helpless, I wanted to disappear in that moment, but I knew I couldn't. I had to speak up, "Rick…." I reached my hand up to his cheek and he surprisingly didn't pull away, which caused me to. "I'm sorry I just...panicked. Please… forgive me." Rick nodded a tiny bit, his hand still on his cheek as I looked away. The silence carried out for quite some time, with Glenn looking ready to pass out. I hesitantly reached a hand for Glenn to help him back to his cell while Rick remained motionless, a thoughtful look on his face.

By the time I returned to Rick I expected him to be angry, but instead he only had a determined, pinpointed look in his eyes. "Andrea, I'm going to get Dale back for you. This is not negotiable." I, of course, objected to this, not willing to let Rick out of my sight too. "No way in hell Rick. You're not going alone..I know that's what you meant. No fucking way." Rick shook his head, dropping his hands, "Bullshit Andrea! I can't risk another member of this group and with the baby coming, we need all the protection here." Did he ever listen to anyone? Damn Rick was stubborn. So I decided to propose a compromise. "Fine. You go. I go. Package deal." Rick looked like he seriously was contemplating my offer, but he quickly shook his head no. "/No/, Andrea. It's too dangerous. We don't know what we are up against, and I can't risk losing you. Sorry… but this is how it has to be."

I don't know why I didn't fight him more. Maybe after punching him in the jaw and seeing the betrayed look in his eyes, I couldn't go against him again. Maybe, deep down, it was the fact that if I knew anyone were to find Dale and bring him back to me, it would be Rick, as he always followed through with his promises. Perhaps it was all a mix of that perplexing human nature where we are selfish and caring all at the same time. This time, I chose to be selfish, choosing Dale over Rick's safety, and for that.. I will always feel guilty and regretful.


	2. How Much Blood Are You Willing to Shed?

**Andrea**

After two hours of remaining idle, I slowly felt my sanity draining away. I paced the prison and found myself finding little to no consolation, even though Ben and Billy were there. So I decided to do something different. I found myself up at the watch tower of the prison, /watching/. After climbing up the unforgiving metal, rusty ladder, I found myself taking position for reasons that I didn't understand. Somehow, it gave me comfort to look out at the bright Georgia sun. It made me feel in control, with my rifle in hand, as I scanned the woods for any sign of Dale or Rick. Being in the watch tower made me feel /good/, and I knew as long as I was up here, I had an amazing vantage point and a way of protecting my family, most importantly the children, inside. I could easily shoot anyone from /one hundred/ or even more yards away, and for that I was somewhat proud.

As the cool, fall air blew back my soft blonde hair, I felt a chill just from that motion. I found myself looking for something to tie my hair up, and with that, I soon had my hair in a ponytail. I didn't really like the way my hair looked like that because it exposed my missing earlobe, my expansive scar, and I was embarrassed. I don't know why I'm so embarrassed about it. It really wasn't that bad, but I could see the way everyone turned away from it as if they couldn't stand the ugliness. I've even caught Rick doing the same as he saw me and that really hurt seeing as for some reason I cared way more about his opinion than anyone else's, even Dale's. I meant to ask him why he did that, but it seemed to always slip my mind when I was around him. Although Dale seemed to like my scar, it didn't help much as his words felt hollowed, almost rehearsed for me. Surely it was a moment of melodrama, and I immediately stopped the self pity, focusing on the protective task ahead to guide me and my thoughts.

At these depressing thoughts, I pulled the warm, woolen lined jacket closer to my tiny frame, huddling inside as I stared ahead for Rick to return. The sun was setting now and I would not leave without him being back in the gate with Dale at his side. I hadn't eaten or even drank anything all day. I didn't really feel that hungry. Not hungry enough to leave. I was definitely not hungry enough in any way, shape, or form to abandon my post. Basic needs would have to be on hold for now as this was need, for survival. Even if it was all a mental state for me.

**The Governor**

After collecting the old man and losing the young one, I wasn't very happy. The biters needed a snack and I needed entertainment, but I let that slide. As I tossed the /useless bundle of flesh inside/ the grungy basement, I couldn't help my disgust at him. He didn't deserve to be alive. It was survival of the fittest and some how this despicable heap survived? The thought made me growl with a whole new distaste and dare I say /jealousy/. How in the hell had this man survived? Was there another safe-zone like Woodbury? Were things /better/? Not for long I vowed. That power would be mine, and perhaps this disgrace of a human would provide me just the passageway I needed to get more…..To break them slowly and surely.

I had been working on Woodbury for quite some time, and these people had no idea who I really was. They martyred me as a savior seeing as I did just that to save the sixty or so people I had. Sure, bloodshed was a consequence of such a Utopia, but I found it utterly necessary. In this world it was kill or be killed, and my people would always be alive no matter how many people I had to rip through. Limb by limb….Piece by piece I would do it…. Martinez knew some about me, but he was just as numb and stupid as the rest to see my true powers… I would control the survivors. They would call me their king their…. /Governor/. The thought of having such control made my skin tingle with /thrill/ and /pleasure/, and I suddenly had a desire to go see my daughter.

After impatiently walking through Woodbury, I arrived in my mansion and went to Penny's room. That was my little girl in there, and even though she was a walker now, I still made her /love me/ because that's what daughters did for their fathers. "Penny. Come say hi to daddy." My baby girl snarled and growled at me, outstretching her putrid arms for me. She was showing me affection, and I willingly accepted it, taking her into a bone crunching hold. "There, there Penny…..Now give daddy a kiss." My daughter mumbled incoherently as I pulled back, forcing my lips onto her mouth for a kiss. I, of course removed all of her teeth so that she couldn't accidentally hurt me while she displayed her affections. This of course made things easier as I had the kiss, brushing back her hair. I pulled back when I felt my daughter's hands tearing at my skin and got angry, yanking out a chunk of her scalp and hair in the process. "Now, now Penny. It's not nice to hurt your daddy." I stood and threw my daughter across the ground with little to no remorse. She had misbehaved after all. After marching from Penny's room, I found myself going to my /museum/. I sat in the leather worn chair and soon my body relaxed. I found myself staring at the head of the men I conquered and I felt adrenaline coursing through my veins. Just the sight made me /excited/, determined to control /more/….kill more…...win more….

**Rick**

I should have told Andrea to come. But then that would have been selfish of me. It would be asking Andrea to come and be by my side as I saved /her/ boyfriend. It really was more complicated than that though...I wanted her here for moral support and encouragement. Andrea was really the only other person who ever made me feel confident and strong….. like I was someone. Then again, she was the strongest woman I knew, so maybe that was why. It was interesting to think that maybe she saw the confidence and strength in me like I saw in her, but that's besides the point. The real point is that I needed her here to tell me I could do this. But she wasn't here. It was just me against whatever threat. Although it didn't seem appealing, I had to oblige being the De Facto leader, I found myself feeling responsible for each and every life. Every single drop of blood loss was my fault, not theirs. And even though this was the truth, I still prayed my sharpshooting angel would show up at any minute.

I told Andrea /not/ to come, didn't I? I made that decision. But, somehow I wanted her to disobey me. Hell she had done it hundreds of times before, why couldn't she do it now? As I wretched up whatever food Andrea had forced on me this morning, I placed a hand on my head, suddenly thinking about my wife...ex wife again, my unborn child, and Carl. They were my /life/. They were my everything, and once again I left them unprotected...Of course the prison was heavily guarded, but I wasn't there….At least Andrea was. She would protect them at all costs. Damn it, there I go again. How many minutes can I go without thinking about Andrea…. I can't even make it past a minute.

The thought made my palms sweat as I rubbed them on my jeans, looking around for the trail I was following. I could be following the wrong trail, but for some reason I felt it was right. After finding the burned out truck a few miles back, I followed that, realizing that Glenn's description of a broken truck would lead me the right way.

I knew I was getting close….I could sense it. It was a test of my instinct...I was ready to save Dale. Ready to make this world something worth living in for that precious baby of mine and for the rest of the survivors. I was to make things how they used to be, but better. That child was my motivation;Carl was...Sophia. I wanted to make a world worth living for them…

**Andrea**

It was pitch black out and I still remained on my post, tense like I was being hunted. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Tyreese touched my shoulder with his massive hand. "Come on back inside now, Andrea. I'm sure they'll be back tomorrow." I naturally pulled away from his hand and lowered my rifle, looking down as I spoke. "What if they need my help opening the gate? I-I need to be here….I- I need to be!" I could even hear the weakness in my voice, and for that I cringed at that unavoidable human nature within me. Tyreese's expression softened as he reached for the rifle that he sure as Hell couldn't shoot. "I'll watch for you Andrea." Tyreese said with an almost quiet and relaxing voice, something I've never heard from him. I unintentionally nodded and stood shakily, gripping the metal bars of the watch tower. "T-thanks Tyreese." I muttered as I walked away, my head practically sunken in the ground. If Rick Grimes wasn't here by noon tomorrow, I was /going/, and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about that.


End file.
